Love Fifi, Love Me
In the beginning of the pandemic while living in NYC, I went on my first date with someone two weeks before the initial lock down. I recall that first date being quaint but ending off endearing, where he at the end of our goodbye hug swept me off my feet with a, “You are really beautiful.”
When I think of him, I’ll always remember him as a genuinely nice and thoughtful person. While I was traveling to the west coast for about 6 months he would intentionally schedule and place reoccurring zoom dates for us to stay connected. We would have “book club” and read Pachinko together and talk about the book which I really enjoyed the safe space for deep dialogue around character and storyline analysis. Can’t forget about the plenty of nights of going to town, he would lavish me by filling my stomach and liver, as we had a deep love for going out and experiencing good dining that NYC has to offer.
Between our second and third date, I didn’t see him for nearly a month. NYC and the world went into lockdown, and everyone was afraid of spreading and or catching Covid. As soon as state borders and curfews were lifted, for our third date he grabbed his parent’s car in the suburbs of Garden State, came into the city to pick me up, and drove me back to the middle of no-where New Jersey to pick up my pandemic puppy, Fifi. It was so nerve racking that were we venturing outside of the bubble of our respective homes when anxiety and fear of Covid were so high, his act to venture out to me and also venture back out to pick up my puppy will be one of my more sweet memories of our time.
Getting a puppy during the pandemic has been a source of so much joy and grounding me to keep a schedule while during this pandemic has thrown me into isolation and no real structure for my life aside from the bubble I lived in my apartment. Though the first 6 months of having Fifi were painful, as I started to work longer hours and not get a lot of sleep. My puppy didn’t sleep long and she needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and the potty training combined with behavioral training, I had a few melt downs. It felt like a lot during the pandemic. In retrospect I look back and all the meltdowns were well worth it, getting and raising your own puppy.
Bichone frise are the toughest breeds to potty-train. Still to this day, my dog has accidents. Fifi my powder puff happy prancing puppy, would have frequent accidents at his apartment. His sister gifted him a colorful large area rug for his apartment and Fifi has had so many accidents on the new birthday rug. Minted with every possible thing soiled by both ends of Fifi, butt and mouth. Despite how much my dog soiled his apartment rug, he never told me to never bring Fifi. He welcomed Fifi and smothered her like it was his own. He never ever complained about the amount of times she soiled his apartment. It was so relieving that every time she had an accident, it was never a point of contention between us. Either he was just super gracious and sweet or he was dirty, though I like to think he was just that nice. He was always so gracious with his time, affections, and place for Fifi. I never felt he ever disliked Fifi, ever.
An old childhood friend shared recently that having children of his own, the best way to love on him as an individual is to love on his children. This rang true for first pandemic romance, as he unconditionally loved on my dog, that ultimately felt like he loved on me. When a different and new guy I dated offered to host dinner at his apartment, he asked, “Can you not bring Fifi?”
In that moment that was definitely a black mark against the new guy. In that split second of a moment, it made me miss my old first pandemic romantic connection and wished that all guys moving forward could be like him. I wish that new love prospects can accept and love and or learn to love on my dog in its entirety, even in its glorious accident-prone self.
