Love Like a R&B Song

We were taking turns on his computer and looking up songs to play on YouTube. I don’t know how we got into it, but it somehow became an easy activity to pass time while sharing and revealing our taste in music. During his turns he would play songs from Whitney Houston and Sade. Sade in her live concerts, her smooth and deep long holding soul provoking notes, even come through a pixelated Yotube. The all-music-lover has a natural knack for music to the point he minored in the subject in school, and music has some large presence in his life to this day.

When he would play old R&B loves songs, we would both nod our head and in our own spaces, nodding to the rhythm, and in a few moments close our eyes to jam out to the songs that were played. He loved and marveled the 90’s and early 2000’s R&B. The few things we agreed on, we agreed the music industry just doesn’t make R&B like they used to.

During one of his turns while sharing an R&B song he asked, “Don’t you want a love like this R&B love song?”

I replied, “No. I don’t. (A long silent moment for me to gather my thoughts.) I want a love where when I am old and can’t wipe my a$$, I want my lover to be able to wipe my a$$.”

I used to chase after fireworks and chemistry while dating. Working on myself over the years, I realized I’ve had some unhealthy approaches and definitions of romance and love. Some of those definitions built by Disney and other commercialized mediums capitalizing on love themes. Other origins are from unhealthy approaches I fostered because I didn’t know what healthy love and romance looked like. It was never shown to me. My parents never shown romance to each other, so I thought if I at least have romance, I would not have the same fate as my parents, a love-less marriage. There’s a lot more to unpack from this. I will share as a start, I’m starting to seek out more romance and relationships that resemble a safe sofa and warm fireplace that I want to cuddle up to everyday. (I can’t take credit for this new definition and something I picked up here: Single On Purpose, John Kim).

Wiping a$$ doesn’t sell platinum records but it’s the new way to Heidi’s heart.